Making Gratitude a Habit

As we approach Thanksgiving, it's time to think about, besides turkey, giving thanks. Although this is a special time for thanks, gratitude is something that should be a part of our everyday life. During the Friday night service last week, our Rabbi, Debra Orenstein, spoke about how to make gratitude a habit. One way that she suggested was to break your routine, which allows you to look at things in a different way. One example was traveling to another country -- it's so wonderful to be there, but once you get home how very wonderful your own bed, and familiar food, and familiar language is (check my blogs on visiting Japan to see how that works!) A closer to home example was to take a different route to work, giving you the opportunity to notice what is around you.

I work from my home office, which makes it hard to take a different route to work. However, most mornings, as I finish breakfast and go up to my second floor office, Charley, my two-year old rescue cat, follows me. He sits at the bottom of the stairs leading to my third floor bedroom and waits for me to notice (if I don't, he'll let out a small meow). At that point I'm expected to follow him upstairs, with him stopping to turn and look to make sure I'm behind him. Several head skritches and tummy rubs later, Charley's ready for his morning nap and I'm ready to go back to my computer. A chance to think about gratitude? Absolutely!

So, how are you going to make gratitude a habit?

R E S P E C T -- It's Not Just a Song

"R E S P E C T -- find out what it means to me," sang Aretha Franklin. The dictionary definition of respect is: to hold in high or special regard. Respect isn't something you just get, it's something you have to earn. And it is one of the most important aspects of your business. While it can be very hard to earn respect, it is very easy to lose it.

In Hebrew, gossip is called Lashon Hara, which is translated as "the evil tongue". A story tells about a Rabbi chiding a woman for spreading a tale about someone. He tells her to get a feather pillow, bring it to the town square, and then rip it open. Of course the wind blows the feathers all over. The Rabbi then tells the woman to gather up the feathers and remake the pillow. She tells him she can't, as the feathers have scattered and are impossible to collect. The Rabbi explains that is what happened with the tale she told, she can never "undo" what she said because the story scattered like the feathers. The same thing is true regarding respect -- once you do something that hurts your reputation, you can't easily undo it.

Recently a Washington Post sports columnist found out how easy it is to lose credibility and respect. The full story is here, in a column by the Post's ombudsman, Andrew Alexander. Here's a quick summary. Columnist Mike Wise discussed on his radio show that he was going to post a tweet with false news to see if it would be picked up without being fact-checked. He did and it was. The management at the Post was horrified and suspended Wise for a month. He apologized profusely and accepted the punishment. Some of his readers and listeners felt the punishment was too severe, after all this was just social media, not the newspaper. The end of the article explains it all. Alexander wrote, "But at its core, what Wise did isn't about social media. It's about fabrication, which is indefensible, even if done in jest. Our business is truth. A journalist's falsehood on Twitter is the same as a falsehood in the paper. . . . In his radio apology announcing his own suspension, Wise said 'Integrity, being right before being first, is the only thing genuine journalists have left in this world.' He correctly added that his own 'stupid, irresponsible experiment' had 'cost me a chunk of my own credibility.' And The Post's."

So remember, RESPECT is not just a song, it's a word to live by. Make sure you earn it and then don't do anything to lose it. Our methods of communications may be modern, but old-fashioned values like respect and credibility never go out of style.

[Yes, it's been a while since I've blogged, long story. In short, I thought I was switching to Word Press. It didn't happen. It's good to be back.]

Loved the Trip, But It's Good to be Home

Yes, we are home; we actually got home on Monday, June 28, but between jet lag, catching up with stuff, doing laundry, etc., this is the first time I've had to visit the blog.

Our last morning in Japan (Monday, June 28) we went with Jeff to take the boys to school. And we were able to get packing tape at the 7-11 where we parked (the school's parking lot is not available as there is construction going on). The tape is for the box of books we're checking as luggage (guide books, books we read on the trip); my suitcase was borderline overweight on the trip over, don't want that to happen again. Once we got the box taped up, we walked to the grocery store and picked up food for lunch (that we would eat on the train). There are some photos of the fish and octopus we didn't buy.

Jeff got us to the train station, our train showed up (trains are never late in Japan), and we were on our way from Mishima to Shinagawa. Once there, we found the correct platform for the Narita Express and a few minutes later our train showed up. A smooth hour later we were at Terminal 1, Narita Airport. Even the airports in Japan are quieter, cleaner, and easier to navigate. Checking in was easy (ahh, the joy of being silver elite!) which left us plenty of time to buy last minute omiyage (Japanese for gifts). Mostly we bought food (some more green tea Kit Kat bars, another box of wasabi Kit Kat bars) and water and tea for the flight.

Flight wasn't bad, a few bouncy spots. As expected, the food wasn't quite as good as on the way over. This time I watched "Lost in Translation" (not a great movie, but great scenes from Japan and very true depiction of what it's like); the first half of "Gone With the Wind" (decided it was fine to end with Scarlett declaring that she'd never go hungry again), and two more episodes of "The Big Bang Theory".

We were near the front of economy, so we were off the plane pretty quickly, which meant almost no line at immigration. Our luggage came out fairly early (Kate's suitcase was the second one out), which meant we got through Customs quickly as well. Nancy's husband Mike was waiting and helped get everything out to the car. Amazingly, we were on the NJ Turnpike heading home within 40 minutes of landing.

We wound up going to Nancy's parents' house for a welcome home BBQ. Tuesday morning was breakfast with Mike's mom, followed by lots of laundry. Kate and her cat headed home to Virginia Wednesday morning.

Here are photos from our last morning in Mishima and a few photos of stuff I brought home from Japan. The glass items came from Kurashiki, as did the mobile and the little cat pitcher.

It was a great trip -- Japan is a beautiful place. Kate and I agreed there are still many parts of it we need to explore, but not for a while. Next trip we do together will be someplace else (we're thinking about Vancouver). But for now, we're tired of airplanes, hotels, and crowds. It's good to be home.

Rain's Not a Problem, but a Monsoon? Day 13 in Japan

It was our last full day in Japan and the plans were to do something fun and see some new things. Yuko had a trip planned to the Hakone region. It's about one-half hour from Mishima (at least the start of the area) and has museums, a lake, hot springs, boat rides, and other things to see and do. It was cloudy when we left the apartment but as we climbed the road into the mountains it got foggier and foggier, making it hard to see the road. And then it started to rain. By the time we got to our first stop, Hakone Sekisho, the Hakone checkpoint, it was pouring and the wind was blowing. It wasn't really a monsoon, but it sure felt like one.

The Hakone Sekisho was built by the Tokugawa Shogunate in 1619 as one of 53 checkpoints throughout Japan. This was during the Edo Period (Edo was the original name of Tokyo). The Hakone checkpoint was considered to be the biggest and most important one. The primary purpose of the checkpoints were to control arms entering Edo and women attempting to leave Edo. This checkpoint, known for its strictness, was primarily responsible for keeping women from escaping from Edo. My photos include restored areas of the checkpoint (complete with rain and mist) and at least one misty photo of the lake. Our next stop was for lunch at a very nice restaurant, La Terrazza (Life Art Museum, Italian Restaurant, Select Shop, Book Store). Here the pizza was much more authentic, although some of the toppings and some of the descriptions were a little odd (see the photos). And the order of fried zucchini had no resemblance to what we're used to -- it was done tempura style and included two small fish (again, see the photo). The pizzas were good (and I even got to have anchovies!)

We headed back to Mishima, as the wind was blowing even harder and the rain was pouring down -- not a day to explore gardens or lookout points. The roads were still very foggy, until we got through the mountains. Once we were back on the outskirts of Mishima, the rain stopped, except for a drizzle, the fog was gone, and the weather was nice.

Kate and I walked to the train station and made our reservations for tomorrow (Monday) for the Shinkansen from Mishima to Shinagawa and then the Narita Express back to the airport. It was, as usual, amusing as the two clerks helping us professed little knowledge of English (although they do take it throughout high school). The male clerk carefully went over our tickets with us, in Japanese, including the times (the tickets do have English letters and Roman numerals, so we knew they were correct). This caused even the female clerk to look amused as she knew we didn't understand him.

Back at the house, I read Hewitt two Little Bear stories and we read a Frog and Toad story together,alternating pages (these were the two books we have Hewitt for his birthday). I also got to read Hewitt and Jonah one Little Bear and two Frog and Toad stories for bedtime. Jeff made us another delicious dinner and we had birthday cake for dessert. We've started packing and are looking forward to our last morning in Japan.

Here are the day 13 photos.

Happy Birthday, Hewitt -- Day 12 in Japan

Yuko was off fairly early for her special Saturday morning classes. We were going to visit the park and do some food shopping but it started to rain so Jeff ran out and got some necessities for the party. We spent the rest of the morning tidying up and, once Yuko got back, decorating with crepe paper streamers. Snack/lunch was rice with seasoning and Japanese pickles. Meanwhile Jeff made the birthday cake. I brought a chocolate cake mix, birthday candles (including a 6), and decorating gel. Japanese kitchens don't usually have an oven; Jeff has a microwave/oven combo but also has a Rival Roaster Oven (purchased to cook his Thanksgiving turkey). He used that to bake the cake.

Guests were a little late to arrive as there was traffic but everyone was there by 2:30 pm. Yuko's mother, sister, and 12-year old niece came (they all live together; her father, brother-in-law, and nephew didn't join us). A friend of Yuko's (she also teaches English) also came, with her husband and two children (3 and 5 years old). Jeff made lasagna and Japanese pizza was ordered (I'm not going to try and explain it, look at the photo). Then we had the cake (see the photos) and some Japanese desserts. And finally it was time to open presents. We gave Hewitt some Legos (a big box of people and a set to make a gas station) and two books (the complete Frog & Toad stories and the complete Little Bear stories). He also got two different remote control cars (plus Jonah got one, which they promptly swapped), a new pair of sneakers, and a brand new bicycle (a present from his Japanese grandparents).

The children had great fun running everyone over with the remote control cars. Eventually the guests left and an attempt was made to calm the boys down, get them showered, into pajamas, and into bed. Yuko, Kate, and Nancy went out for a light supper to an Okonomiyaki restaurant about a block from the house. It's a very small place with a large "table" with a hot griddle in the center and stools around it. First the owner (a very nice women from Hiroshima who moved to this area 14 years ago to be with her daughter) shreds half a cabbage. Then she ladles a very thin layer of pancake batter on the griddle, laying the cabbage on top. After seasoning the cabbage, she lays some meat (probably bacon) over it. Using two turners, she flips the whole thing over. She heats some soba noodles (buckwheat) and lays the cabbage mixture on top of them. Next she breaks an egg on the griddle, flattens it, allows it to cook a little, and then flips the cabbage mixture on to it. She flips the whole thing again, adds some sauce on the top, and then cuts it in quarters. We each got two quarters (after they were sprinkled with nori (shredded sea weed, at home it would have been parsley). There are photos of each step. This is the Hiroshima version, other versions don't use noodles and add other things. In some restaurants, you get to cook it yourself -- thank goodness we didn't, I've never be able to flip them without making a real mess.

The boys may finally be going to sleep (sugar high and party excitement). In the distance we can hear drumming -- Yuko tells us there is a festival soon and the drummers are rehearsing.

Here are the photos from day 12.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Japan -- we are going to the Hakone area, a resort area in the mountains about an hour away.