My Three Words for 2012

It's 2012 -- an interesting year in many ways. It's a Leap Year, so we get one more day of February. For the Asian Lunar Year, this is the Year of the Dragon. And it's my second year of non-resolutions but rather choosing three words to guide me.

I suppose I should start by reviewing how last year's words worked. Last year I chose Caring, Integrity, and Joy. Although I didn't always think about the words, in looking back I can say I did reasonably well. I did cut back on my snarkiness, I did take time for happy things. I wasn't so good about getting myself back in shape -- talked about it a lot but wasn't as active as I'd hoped.

This year's words are related to last year's: Focus, Patience, and Gratitude. They actually build on last year by getting more specific as to what needs to be done.

Focus: this has two parts. First, finish things without getting distracted (oh, look, a new shiny thing!) But more importantly, figure out what is really important and only do those things. This leads back to an earlier blog on the importance of not only knowing when to say no but also when to say yes. Of course we can do everything, but should we? So I will be cutting back this year on some of my activities and really focusing on what I want and need to do.

Patience: this is an outgrowth of last year's Caring. Recognize that people are who they are and accept them. Not everyone does things the same way, that's okay.Don't waste energy on things that aren't important. I'm getting better at this. It goes along with "less snark" and "don't rush to judgment". Sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are.

Gratitude: I have learned a lot from my Rabbi this past year. Recently, she finished a CD called "Gratitude". One of the topics covered is complaining. She points out the greatest antidote to complaining is gratitude. And, most importantly, studies have shown that gratitude leads directly to happiness. She added that happy people aren't always grateful, but grateful people are always happy. (And I will be writing more on this topic.)

Snow in October -- A View from the Trenches

 Driving around Bergen County these days makes me think the Knights who say "Ni" have been around demanding shrubberies. When you look more closely, you realize the shrubs at the edges of people's lawns are actually piles of branches and leaves, broken by this past week's snowstorm, fondly known on Twitter as "Snowtober".

For about a week, I complained every time I saw the upcoming weather forecast. "What do you mean, rain/snow on Saturday?" Little did I know just how bad it would be. As most of you know by now, the rain turned to snow much sooner than expected. And it was a heavy, wet snow. And the trees were still covered with leaves. And that was bad.

Around 2:00 pm on Saturday, as I worked on the computer, blink, blink . . . no power. And it stayed that way until 7:00 am on Wednesday. The house got very cold (around 45F).The good news is that it kept the refrigerator and freezer cold (helped by the ice packs I pulled out of the freezer and distributed and supplemented by Ziploc bags of snow added to the fridge on Tuesday). We were lucky -- we could light the gas burners on our stove using matches (but not our oven). We had hot water (although the thought of stepping out of the shower with wet hair into the cold bathroom was more than I could deal with). And we had lanterns and lots of sweatshirts, fleeces, quilts, etc. So we managed.

I kept my smartphone charged by driving around with it, charging it from my laptop, and asking restaurants where I went for lunch or dinner if they had a spare outlet. By Tuesday, Fairleigh Dickinson University (where I teach Tuesday afternoons) had their power back and I taught my class. This gave me the opportunity to warm up and completely charge my laptop and phone. I also got to reassure my students that it was okay they hadn't completed their homework -- I couldn't have printed it out even if they had sent it.To quote the provost at FDU, "it has certainly been an interesting semester so far. The October snowstorm is just the latest surprise" (we already had a delayed opening due to Hurricane Irene).

Our poor cat, Charley, could not understand what was going on. He was cold (at night he snuggled up with us in bed, though he wouldn't come under the quilt). And he couldn't figure out the lanterns. Once all the lights in the house were out it was bedtime and we were supposed to be asleep, so he could come into bed with us. But instead, much to his annoyance, we were sitting up and reading.

We were lucky -- it was never as bad as Alabama after the tornadoes, it was never as bad as Turkey, after the recent earthquake. Of course PSEG could have been more communicative. Their website said the very latest news was available on their special twitter account which, until sometime later on Sunday, hadn't posted a tweet since September 21. It was very heartening to see all of the non-PSEG repair trucks in the area.

I can't help but wonder if the snow was a result of what was in the Sunday papers. Both Toy'R'Us and Kmart had their toy catalogs in the Sunday, October 30 paper -- not only was it before Thanksgiving it was before Halloween! Target was just a week behind, theirs was in the Sunday, November 6 paper. No more tempting Mother Nature -- keep the holidays and seasons where they belong!

So, Is a Little Evil Okay?

This was the year I chose three words to follow -- caring, integrity, and joy. So how have I been doing? Well . . .

I blew it -- and I got caught. Last week Ike Pigott posted on Twitter: "So much for Google's "Don't Be Evil" mantra (Google deals dirty with PayPal)", referring to PayPal suing Google over Google's new mobile payment system. And, being in a snarky mood, I posted back "PayPal (& eBay) have done so much evil in the past (& still do), I don't care if Google deals dirty with them." To which Ike responded "Are you really saying it's okay to engage in unethical behavior because of who you're sticking it to?"

Oops -- no, of course that's not what I meant [and I did respond "I suppose when you put it that way, no. If good, you should always take the high road (even if I hate PayPal)"]. The end does not justify the means. Being a little bit evil is like being a little bit pregnant. You can't pick and choose when it's okay to be evil or when you should be ethical.

This leads to the next question. Does posting something on Twitter really matter that much? Yes, it does. If I'm supposed to be standing for something (integrity), then that means that I need to stand for it all the time. If it's a part of me, then it has to be a part of me all the time. And just because I want to sound "cute" on Twitter and "play" with the big boys, is no excuse. Nor is, but I really like Google and don't want to think of them as being evil.

So, Ike, thanks for catching me out. I'll try to do better.

It’s Not Just When to Say No, but When to Say Yes

Do you suffer from Bottom syndrome? No – this isn’t another call to hit the gym. To understand this condition, you need to read William Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”.

As a diversion within Shakespeare’s play, a small group of laborers are going to perform their own play, the story of Pyramus and Thisbe. Peter Quince, the director, is reading off each man’s role. Although Nick Bottom is the first to receive his assignment, each time Quince lists a new character Bottom eagerly volunteers to take that role, reciting all the reasons why he can do it.

Does this sound familiar? How often do you do this? Sitting in a committee meeting, volunteers are needed. Or your client asks for a whole laundry list of items. Or someone in your family needs some help. And your response is “Oh, I can do that! I can do that! I can do that!” Suddenly you’ve volunteered for all sorts of projects and are overwhelmed.

Just as Quince explained to Bottom, “You can play no part but Pyramus”, we must decide what parts we should play. We’ve heard many times that we need to learn to say “No”. But we also need to decide what to say “Yes” to. Your list can be prioritized by:

    1.) What you do best;
    2.) What you enjoy doing; and
    3.) What you have the time to do.

What is it you do best? This needs to be your focus. Sure you can do a variety of things (we are women – born to multi-task!), but they only distract you from your main role. And there are probably other people who can do those other things as well or better than you can. So let them! Now add the things you enjoy doing. Whether it’s work or relaxation, we give our best effort to the things we like to do.

And most importantly, don’t take on more than you have time for.  You will stress yourself out. Sometimes you may even have to temporarily give up something you enjoy doing if the stress of trying to fit it into your schedule overwhelms the pleasure you would have gotten from it.

Poor Bottom, after trying to take on everyone else’s responsibilities (and annoying them all in the process), he is turned into an ass by Puck, the Fairy King’s assistant. Definitely a lesson to us all! Remember to nurture yourself and your business. Take time to plan and prioritize. Don’t emulate Bottom, but rather learn your limits, where to put your time and effort, and when to say yes.

Verizon, Can You Hear ME Now?

Why do I ever think it's going to be easy dealing with Verizon? There is always a problem. In the past, I've spoken with really nice people who always promise to take care of the problem; months later I find out the problem was never taken care of.

This time the problem was an unauthorized third party charging my Verizon phone bill. I happened to look at the March bill and found, under Other Charges, some company I'd never heard of charging us $12.95 (plus tax). I eventually discovered Compufixcomp is located in California (not to be confused with a similarly named company in Pennsylvania) and we'd supposedly signed-up for on-line computer maintenance. First I called the number on the Verizon bill for questions; after spinning through the various menus, I noticed there was an "800" phone number on the bill for this unknown company. The person who answered didn't seem very surprised when I expressed no knowledge of them and demanded a cancellation and refund. She gave me a confirmation number and supposedly took my e-mail address to send a confirming e-mail (not yet received, five days later).

The current Verizon bill is scheduled to be automatically paid by credit card on Monday, March 28. This was Wednesday, March 23. I don't really trust this company to refund my money, so I wanted to get the charge off the March bill before March 28. Which meant it was back to the interminable Verizon menus (and the ridiculously chirpy "lady" -- do they really think that they have the callers fooled into thinking it's a real person?) I eventually got through to the "ask a question about the bill" person. They apparently could only answer questions about the bill, they couldn't do anything about the bill, but they did transfer me to the payment people. I eventually was connected to a real person in a billing office in NJ (the state in which I live). He could help me arrange payment plans, look at previous payments and future payments, but not change anything on the bill. He transferred me to Heidi, a "billing specialist". She was a very nice lady and she was happy to take the $12.95 charge off my bill. She was also pleased that I'd spoken with the company, as that was what she was going to tell me to do next. And she even said we could put a block on our account so no one could automatically bill anything to it without our permission (I thought I'd already done that, but even if I hadn't, shouldn't that be the default?)

And then came the big problem . . . when Heidi said she couldn't guarantee that the $12.95 wouldn't be charged to my credit card on March 28, because it can take one to two (or maybe even two to three) billing cycles for things to be corrected. I asked her if she had taken the charge off and she said yes. I asked then how could it still get charged. She mumbled things about taxes and the one to two billing cycles. I pointed out this was being done on a computer and therefore should be completed. After going round a few times, I asked to speak with a supervisor, which she was happy to do. Heidi then sat on hold with me (breaking into the music every few minutes to say we were still on hold). By now over an hour had gone by on this endless quest.

Finally Mr. Smith came on. Yes, he understood the problem. He then did something that poor Heidi wasn't able (wasn't allowed?) to do and said the charge was now off of the bill. I asked about blocking unauthorized payments to my account. He said he could do that. I think he did, not really sure because he mumbled. So, I'm waiting to see what happens today (Monday) -- what will be charged to my credit card? Will this company continue to charge me? Will Verizon indeed block unauthorized charges to my account?

As I was quite aggravated after spending well over an hour on dealing with this, I decided to follow-up by tweeting that Verizon customer service sucked. Amazingly, within minutes I had a tweeted response and  a Verizon Customer Service  follow on Twitter. Wow, what friendly, cheery people work on Verizon's social media. Too bad the people that do the actual work aren't able to respond as quickly or effectively. Who cares if Verizon monitors their social media accounts if they don't allow their employees to fix customers' problems. There wouldn't be a need to monitor Verizon's social media so closely if the problems didn't happen in the first place. So Verizon, try putting some of your money into upgrading customer service and actually serve your customers! (And while you're at it, get rid of the computer lady on the phone calls and give me an understandable menu with just a few options.)

UPDATE: Bill has posted on AmEx, the correction was not made, the unauthorized charge was included. Thanks a lot, Verizon!